This is FREE SCRAP METAL PEOPLE.
It’s like $5 of scrap metal. ALL FOR YOU. You know you want this bad boy. It’s a huge metal barrel that is blue, metal, and sounds pretty awesome when you drop heavy materials in it.
I tried throwing it away today with our trash, but the trash guys just emptied it and left it sitting there, sad and lonely, by the mailbox. They were all, “PSSSSH BARREL, YOU CAN’T GO INTO OUR GARBAGE TRUCK! WHAT WHAAAAT!” So now I have this amazing blue barrel just sitting there on the side of my yard with a new load of trash.
If you don’t want to scrap it for cash, there is a plethora of amazing things that you can do with this barrel.
Crawl inside and scare people who pass by (I am not responsible if someone punches you)
Crawl inside and have someone push you down a steep hill (I am not responsible if you get injured for this)
Sit inside of it and have someone fill it up with water, then yell out, “HEY GUYS, CHECK IT OUT, I’M SWIMMING IN A BARREL! HOOO DOGGIE!”
Take a brick or two (SHOWN IN PICTURE, ALSO FUH-REEE, PEOPLE!) and throw it at the barrel to make it all dented and bad @ss looking
Spray paint IF FOUND CALL THIS EMERGENCY HOT LINE NUMBER – ZOMBIE INSIDE and then forget to put the number on it
Turn it into a giant trash can in your yard and never empty it, thus making your neighbors upset (I am not responsible if this happens)
Paint it white, put a red face on it, call it Wilson and talk to him on a daily basis
AND NEW! Someone emailed and said it would be a fire pit – too true, my friend. TOO TRUE! (Though, I think this barrel may have once housed hazardous materials, so I don’t recommend cooking S’Mores over them or anything of the sort)
TOTALLY FREE. You just need to pick this thing up. It’s empty. It’s blue. It’s metal. IT’S YOURS! No need to ask, just take this mama jama home with you.
And you know what? I listed this on Tuesday night and it’s KELLY CLARKSON’S BIRTHDAY. So this could POTENTIALLY be a super magical birthday barrel. Maybe she played it in? Maybe she kicked it? Maybe she secretly hates this blue barrel and you can just FEEL her seething hatred emanating off of its dilapidated and peeling blue outside.
But please do not take my other trash bins. I would be a super sad panda if I need to go and buy new ones. They are near and dear to my heart.
And please – this is a FREE BARREL. I have received several emails asking if someone can purchase it from me, and can I save it for a few days. I will not accept money for it. I cannot save it. I will not accept your dancing monkey, or your talking parrot that sings dirty limericks in Japanese (really, guys?). I want it to go to a good free home because I am 99.9% positive this housed hazardous materials once, and I don’t want to be responsible if someone paid me $10 for this beauty, then they birth a child with 11 fingers on one hand and 25 on the other, all because of this barrel.
Though, you know, it would be pretty amazing to have 36 fingers. I would never, ever, ever need a calculator again.
Date Posted: 04/24/12
*All images in this ad are original and were included in the original Craigslist post.