I’m a man of many titles, wit da skillz to pay the bizzy bizzys. You need someone like Yeezy or Hova types of skill to produce yo slop, but can’t cough up da jack to git it on with that level of troopa? Hire me, Da Produsa, and watch yo tracks catch on FIYA!!!!!!! I got turntables fo dat old skool wiki-wiki. I got Logics 9.0 fo you Apple homies. I’m diggity-diggity-down with Pro Tools LE if you wanna roll dat way tho. I’d give you my REZ-OO-MAY, but it’d be too long to list on here. I mainly work wit underground hip hop artists like Big Cheese, Covert Convictz, Ziggy Cardust, Mo-LEEK & the Analog Underground, and 7 year old rap sensation Lil Parchese (just a sangle tho). I can turn yo wack project into an exercise of 808 MADNESS, SON. All yo friends will be boomin YO TRACKS instead of some Pee-Wee Herman shizzy dizzy that they playin now. YO TRACKS. Imagine dat, son. Yo tracks be shinin thoo now, out da clouds, and into the limelight of loud (just a sample lyric, free uh charge…holla).
I don’t take phone calls – they awkward, making me feel put on the spot and shizzy. I need time, son. Send me an email wit yo wack, unproduced tracks, and lemme see what I can do to spruce ’em, son. I don’t work on no projects that curse, son. I work wit intelligence, and dat what I want to produce as the product of my laborious endeavors. Don’t send me no wacky cursing tracks son, or I SHIP ‘EM BACK TO YA. I ain’t some holla-fo-ya-dolla, ho-ride producer, but I’m sho you can find nat elsewhere if you prefer to keep yo cursalities inna tracks. I work out my house right here on da east side of Coupe De ‘Ville, son, drankin Hennessey in Tennessee (but not while I’m workin, right? Heh-HEH).
Cue da wiki-wiki…So wut u waitin’ on, while otherz be gettin gone, up out da hood, while you still bein’ hated on? (ba-BOOM….ha-sss-HA, HA-HA-HA…Ba-BOOM, etc…u hear dem beats too, ain’t ya, son???)
Let Da Produsa produce, offer some lyrical authoring assistance, and get up in yo grill if you ain’t gettin it done………and watch yo tracks POP, son. Hit me up.
Shimmy-Shimmy Cocoa WHUT?!?!
Date: 2012-08-21, 1:37PM CDT
*All images in this ad are original and were included in the original Craigslist post.
Comment from the user who submitted this ad: WTF?!??!?!?!?!