I’ve got a ton of books my ex-wife left behind when she had to move out. They scream co-dependency, negative body image, self-loathing, and above all, the mindless need to buy what everyone else is buying. If you have a pathetically lost woman in your life, and you want to show her how much you care by giving her some used self-help books, then you’ve come to the right place. Just a sample of the great titles available FREE OF CHARGE:
“Make the Connection” by Bob Greene and Oprah Winfrey. Oprah. That special woman in your life can’t complain if you bring her this book. It is against the rules to say anything that, in any way, could be construed as negative about Oprah.
“The Zone” Some crappy diet book.
“Total Health Makeover” by Marilu Henner. If the original weren’t enough, I’ve got the 30 day version too. I kid you not. She did hang in there on the Celebrity Apprentice for a while… maybe these should go on Ebay… act now before I change my mind!
“Love is a Choice” by some psychobabbler or other. I’m too lazy to get up from my chair and I can’t read the author from here. I think there’s another one up there called “Co-dependent No More”. The sad thing is my ex had these books BEFORE we got married… did I heed the giant waving red flags? No, I did not.
A bunch of other crappy novels. You know, the kind that are so bad that you can’t hardly stand to look at the cover. Now I’m not talking trashy romance novels here. I’m talking about the kind of crap with some cheesy rose on the front that you just know is about some family where the mom gets cancer or something, and there’s tons of suffering, and no one gets laid.
This ad is absolutely real. These books are available to you, as long as you are willing to pick them up. I won’t judge. They could be for a co-worker you think is eating herself to death, your sister-in-law, whatever. Burn them if you want to, I don’t really care. Donate them to the bookmobile. Read them to shut-ins. Just get them off my bookshelf so they’re not crowding my Tom Clancy novels anymore. Great literature needs room to breathe.
Date: 2008-06-03, 10:50PM MDT