Posts tagged "roommate"

Funny Craigslist Ad #86: Female Escort looking for a roommate

I am a 20 year old female escort/student, and I just leased an AWESOME 1/1 condo downtown, but it is obviously very, very expensive. about 1400/mo + utilities.
I am looking for another escort/stripper/someone who understands me to share the place with… we can put two beds in the room or whatever, the place is huge! have fun and make that money. rent and everything would be split down the middle, it has a view of downtown and HUGE windows, nice big living room, wood floors, stainless steel appliances, all the standard upscale apartment things you dream of. it really is amazing. and would be an awesome pad to party/host/and enjoy the finer things in life. I want a girl just like me to share it with, a shallow bitch with more money than she knows what to do with. good stuff

* cats are OK – purrr
* dogs are OK – wooof
* Location: downtown

http://austin.craigslist.org/roo/1484766436.html

Funny Craigslist Ad #70: Old Wheelchair – Great for transporting drunk roommates

Attention college kids – ever need to bring your drunk roommate home or simply want to mess with him by relocating him to another part of the dorm/frat house/apartment complex/campus so he doesn’t know where he is when he wakes up? And have you ever had a hard time doing so because he’s just a bunch of dead weight, or you don’t want to get vomited upon? HERES THE SOLUTION.

This is a cheap, old, crappy wheelchair. Its not horribly comfortable to sit in, but would make a good drunk transport. Its so inexpensive, in fact, that when you graduate, you can just leave it behind for those who follow after you!

other uses for this wheelchair?

* play hallway bowling
* move other heavy things besides your drunken roommates
* improve your balance by only using the ‘big wheels’
* invent ‘extreme wheelchairing’
* garbage bag tearing? just use the wheelchair!
* pretend you got hit by a car and try to get ‘sympathy sex’
* stand on it to change all of the lightbulbs in the hallway without stepping down
* practice being old
These and a variety of other wonderful uses await you for just ten little dollars!!! Email today!

(i am not responsible for any injuries you may sustain or inflict by either jackassing around on this wheelchair or by its misuse, including, but not limited to: transporting drunk roommates, inventing ‘extreme wheelchairing’, standing on it for any reason, and/or practicing your balance.)