Posts tagged "for sale"

Funny Craigslist Ad #77: Shelves, Bricks & Cement Blocks for sale

Shelves, bricks and cement blocks used for homemade bookcase. Shelves are dark finished wood planks, there are four pictured but I have a fifth I haven’t been using.

Approximately 45″Hx 48″Lx 12″W. Email for exact dimensions.

You pick up, evening or weekends.

http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/zip/1629615945.html

Funny Craigslist Ad #75: free aquarium (irvington)

free 10 gallon aquarium, also two free turtles to mediocre home. don’t make em soup and you can have em.one is a very small alligator snapping turtle, the other bites but i don’t know what kind it is.

http://mobile.craigslist.org/zip/1655194299.html

Funny Craigslist Ad #70: Old Wheelchair – Great for transporting drunk roommates

Attention college kids – ever need to bring your drunk roommate home or simply want to mess with him by relocating him to another part of the dorm/frat house/apartment complex/campus so he doesn’t know where he is when he wakes up? And have you ever had a hard time doing so because he’s just a bunch of dead weight, or you don’t want to get vomited upon? HERES THE SOLUTION.

This is a cheap, old, crappy wheelchair. Its not horribly comfortable to sit in, but would make a good drunk transport. Its so inexpensive, in fact, that when you graduate, you can just leave it behind for those who follow after you!

other uses for this wheelchair?

* play hallway bowling
* move other heavy things besides your drunken roommates
* improve your balance by only using the ‘big wheels’
* invent ‘extreme wheelchairing’
* garbage bag tearing? just use the wheelchair!
* pretend you got hit by a car and try to get ‘sympathy sex’
* stand on it to change all of the lightbulbs in the hallway without stepping down
* practice being old
These and a variety of other wonderful uses await you for just ten little dollars!!! Email today!

(i am not responsible for any injuries you may sustain or inflict by either jackassing around on this wheelchair or by its misuse, including, but not limited to: transporting drunk roommates, inventing ‘extreme wheelchairing’, standing on it for any reason, and/or practicing your balance.)

Funny Craigslist Ad #63: 300 Stuffed Penguins Free to Good Home

********PENGUINS STILL AVAILABLE! Thank you for the overwhelming response********

What I’m offering here is about 300 stuffed penguins of various shapes, sizes, and species (predominately Emperor, though–like the kind in March of the Penguins) to a deserving child.

I’m going through a pretty weird time in my life right now–having just gone through a break-up and graduated college and temporarily living in my parents’ house before I move out for good in in the fall, though I remain unemployed because my philosophy degree is at *such* a premium–and sifting through my room (which has become a strange amalgam of my adolescence and burgeoning adulthood), it’s been brought to my attention that I probably won’t “catch a man” or have anyone believe I’m about to turn 23 with 300 penguins and a bunch of purple furniture around, that looking at my current room one might think some sort of 13-year-old with developmental issues is living here. I loved penguins as a child–long before they were trendy and had their own series of CGI movies or the godly voice of Morgan Freeman was involved–and collected them, often putting on penguin weddings and penguin ballet recitals where I made costumes for individual penguins, all of whom had names that I kept track of on my penguin censuses. I could recite all 16 species of penguin in alphabetical order…

…so, yes, I feel justified in saying I want a deserving child. A child that will really, well, love the penguins, and cherish his/her youth with them as it slowly slips away… Or, alternatively, some adult who has a great use for them, like if you are making the next big penguin movie (or play?). Or, if you are opening some new theme restaurant in town and need my penguins for your decor. As long as I’m auctioning off my childhood to the highest bidder, I reserve the right to be a little choosy.

E-mail with your intentions and we will work something out.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/1208932583.html

Date: 2009-06-06, 5:38PM CDT