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Funny Craigslist Ad #65: Mow our lawn for a date!

Hey boys – ’tis the season for lawn mowing and new love. These are the only two things missing in my life.

First order of the business: the lawn. Our small front lawn, and largish back lawn have grown out of control after all the rain we have had as of late. It’s about 1.5 feet tall, and growing taller by the second. We are four lovely ladies lacking a lawn mower. This is where you come in.

Second order of business: you and me. I’m a sexy young 20 something lady offering a date (my treat) in exchange for a mowed lawn. We will also offer homemade baked goods to sweeten the deal.

However this lawn may be more than you can handle alone. For this reason, my sultry single roommate has graciously agreed to offer the same deal for your friend who helps you out with the task. Let’s go on a double date! You are also welcome to mow the lawn on your own, and pick a lucky friend to come on the date.

Who knows, maybe one date could turn into two (lawn mowing optional *wink wink*)

Serious inquiries only, we need this lawn mowed, BYOLawnMower!!!

No photos of your weedwhacker please.

Date: 2009-05-20, 10:45PM PDT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1181466826.html

Craigslist Ad #60: Need a seragant mom? ? ?

Hi im a 20 year old single white female. 5’11 blonde haird and fair complextion. Im offering to be a seragant mom. Im already a single mother to one and this will give me a chance to get things together for myself. I loved being pregnante.
So if interested or want to know more email me thanks

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/cae/1168235746.html

Date: 2009-05-12, 11:48PM EDT

Funny Craigslist Ad # 57: Personal Texting Assistant

replies
deleting texts
alerting of new texts
reading texts
filtering text

I get 40 – 50 texts an hour, I cant handle my workload plus texting responsibilities. My phone gets too full and needs deleted every couple hours. This is a full time position and you must be where ever I am at, because my phone is always with me. Serious inquiries only.

• Location: Baltimore
• Compensation: 10.00 hr

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/bal/1236773288.html

Date: 2009-06-23, 11:39PM EDT

Funny Craigslist Ad # 46: Seeking Medical Marijuana Patients

Skilled botanist seeks medical marijuana patients. Rhode Island law has been recently loosened to allow for legal growing of marijuana for suffering patients by up to two named caregivers. To date over 500 patients have registered and over 300 caregivers are licensed to grow medical marijuana for their patients. I am a botanist, skilled in organic methods, with an interest in entering the field of caregivers. If you are suffering from any condition that causes chronic pain or wasting syndrome, including but not limited to cancer, Hepatitis C, AIDS (or HIV positive), or a condition that causes ticking, including but not limited to Parkinson’s disease, you may legally seek a recommendation from your doctor to try medical marijuana.

Marijuana is the wonder drug for cancer and AIDS, as it relieves pain, increases appetite, and grants a temporary respite from depression, coupled with mild circulatory stimulation and a desire to get back out into the world and enjoy life. The FDA has recommended its legalization nationwide, which previous federal administrations have chosen to ignore. The current administration, however, has recently vowed not interfere with any state medical marijuana program, leaving you as a patient and me as a caregiver free to exercise our freedom and not fear any prosecution under any court. It is safe, legal, and may just help to turn your life around. Marijuana need not be delivered through unhealthy smoke inhalation, but also through vaporization (inhalation of water vapor infused only with the active chemical), or ingestion of tasty treats, leaving your health decisions in your own hands.

If you are already a registered patient with only one caregiver, please contact me. I am confident in my skills and will happily pay for the registration fee to add another caregiver and subsequently supply a free sample and continued services if you desire. If you are not a registered patient, but are suffering from chronic pain, wasting syndrome, or ticking, please consider talking to your doctor about medical marijuana, and contact me for supply if you wish to give it a go.

Cheers!

A friendly Rhode Island botanist.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/prv/1153622688.html

Date: 2009-05-04, 10:58AM