Funny Craigslist Ad #152: CoD Black Ops Lan Party

Ok here’s the deal. If you’re not on the level, then don’t bother responding.

I’m looking for up to 5 dudes to come over for a CoD Black Ops LAN party. I want dudes who are serious about playing some fucking Black Ops, and have some serious fucking skills. Grenade spammers and noob tubers need not respond. If you don’t know the difference between lightweight and lightweight-pro, then you’re cut. If you haven’t prestige at least once, then you’re cut.

You must be 21 or over. I will fucking card you, and if you’re not, the your fucking ass is to the curb. Last time I did this, I ended up with a bunch of 12 year olds who got dropped off by their moms, and I had to put the beer away and bust out fucking Kool-Aid. My house is not a fucking Chucky Cheese. I will supply beer and munchies. You can bring weed if you want, but you better have enough for everyone, and it better be good weed and not that New Haven ghetto shit.

You must bring your TV. I have plenty of bandwidth and outlets, but I’m not a TV warehouse for fuck’s sake. My mom usually passes out at around 9ish depending on what pain med she’s eating, so after that we can get as tore up as we want. Until then, it’s yes ma’am, and no ma’am, or your ass is to the curb.

This is for real and it’s not one of those jerk off parties. You pull your dick out anywhere besides the bathroom with the door shut, and I’ll sic one or both of my Dobermans on your ass.. This reminds me: No black dudes. Nothing personal, but my dogs don’t like black people ever since our black neighbor got fucked up on meth and tried to fuck one of my dogs. Now my dogs go ape shit every time they see a black person. Trust me, you don’t need a new asshole chewed in you, and I don’t need a lawsuit.

I am looking to get this shit rolling this weekend on Sunday night. If it works out, and you aren’t a total fuck-wad, then it might turn into a regular thing.

 

Date posted: 2010-12-15

*All images in this ad are original and were included in the original Craigslist post.

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