I’m looking for someone to take care of the staggering laundry pile that has accumulated in my room. I am willing to pay 50$ an hour – but there are certain rules that must be followed since the washer and dryer are in my home. Please – no eye contact or speaking to me in between loads – it would actually be best if you left or just sat outside on the porch (please no pouting or speaking to my neighbors) during this “down time”. I am willing to pay an additional 10 dollars per hour (totaling 60) if you allow me to verbally degrade you while you’re working – kind of like that restaurant, Dicks Last Resort? As for a response to this post – please include a short essay explaining what qualifies you for this position and a listing of any previous laundry doing experience (for others – please no “I do my laundry every month and I”m great at it” – I’m looking more for “I used to work at Abercrombie and I’m really awesome at folding”. Please also attach a photo
and a brief description of yourself.
Please female applicants only.
If by some chance you’re attractive (at least a drunk 7) I am willing to alter some of the previously stated rules and allow you to hang out and watch some of the cool shows recorded on my cable box, and munch upon my bulk quantity snacks from Costco. Even if you find me repulsive/borish, acting sincerely interested and engaged in my high school football and old fraternity stories could score you a nice tip upon the job’s completion.
I’m currently down to 4 pairs of boxers so please apply ASAP to prevent any repeat wearing or new boxer purchase scenario.
Your future boss!
Date: 2010-10-24, 2:14PM PDT
Note from the user who submitted this ad: I am actually the author of this post. Â I was hungover watching football Sunday afternoon, and really did not want to do my laundry.