Archive for October, 2009

Funny Craigslist Ad #66: girlfriend forcing sale

Girlfriend said she is tired of my mustang parts and I need to make a craigslist ad…so here is it

for sale

1 nagging dream smashing man hater

make an offer or look in the free section if she keeps it up and gets kicked to the curb

Date: 2009-05-10, 9:37PM EDT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/jax/1164383626.html

Funny Craigslist Ad #65: Mow our lawn for a date!

Hey boys – ’tis the season for lawn mowing and new love. These are the only two things missing in my life.

First order of the business: the lawn. Our small front lawn, and largish back lawn have grown out of control after all the rain we have had as of late. It’s about 1.5 feet tall, and growing taller by the second. We are four lovely ladies lacking a lawn mower. This is where you come in.

Second order of business: you and me. I’m a sexy young 20 something lady offering a date (my treat) in exchange for a mowed lawn. We will also offer homemade baked goods to sweeten the deal.

However this lawn may be more than you can handle alone. For this reason, my sultry single roommate has graciously agreed to offer the same deal for your friend who helps you out with the task. Let’s go on a double date! You are also welcome to mow the lawn on your own, and pick a lucky friend to come on the date.

Who knows, maybe one date could turn into two (lawn mowing optional *wink wink*)

Serious inquiries only, we need this lawn mowed, BYOLawnMower!!!

No photos of your weedwhacker please.

Date: 2009-05-20, 10:45PM PDT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/1181466826.html

Funny Craigslist Ad #64: Yard Swing

Real nice yard swing for sell. Real comfrotable. Might have a few dog hairs on it but they will brush right off. Green all-wheather cover beside fence is included

Tikee torch not included but will sale for 25.00.

funny craigslist yard swing

Funny Craigslist Ad #63: 300 Stuffed Penguins Free to Good Home

********PENGUINS STILL AVAILABLE! Thank you for the overwhelming response********

What I’m offering here is about 300 stuffed penguins of various shapes, sizes, and species (predominately Emperor, though–like the kind in March of the Penguins) to a deserving child.

I’m going through a pretty weird time in my life right now–having just gone through a break-up and graduated college and temporarily living in my parents’ house before I move out for good in in the fall, though I remain unemployed because my philosophy degree is at *such* a premium–and sifting through my room (which has become a strange amalgam of my adolescence and burgeoning adulthood), it’s been brought to my attention that I probably won’t “catch a man” or have anyone believe I’m about to turn 23 with 300 penguins and a bunch of purple furniture around, that looking at my current room one might think some sort of 13-year-old with developmental issues is living here. I loved penguins as a child–long before they were trendy and had their own series of CGI movies or the godly voice of Morgan Freeman was involved–and collected them, often putting on penguin weddings and penguin ballet recitals where I made costumes for individual penguins, all of whom had names that I kept track of on my penguin censuses. I could recite all 16 species of penguin in alphabetical order…

…so, yes, I feel justified in saying I want a deserving child. A child that will really, well, love the penguins, and cherish his/her youth with them as it slowly slips away… Or, alternatively, some adult who has a great use for them, like if you are making the next big penguin movie (or play?). Or, if you are opening some new theme restaurant in town and need my penguins for your decor. As long as I’m auctioning off my childhood to the highest bidder, I reserve the right to be a little choosy.

E-mail with your intentions and we will work something out.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/aus/1208932583.html

Date: 2009-06-06, 5:38PM CDT