Archive for June, 2009

Funny Craigslist Ad # 53: Craigslist CODES – translated

m4m = I totally want to do anything that has the word “fuck” in it.

m4w, w4m = I want to fuck you but I’ll do dinner first if you want.

strictly platonic = I want to fuck you but let’s talk about something first.

casual encounter = I want to fuck you and not have to pay much attention.

missed connections = I want to fuck you and I hope you saw me standing ten feet away from you with a bunch of other people and you wanted to fuck me too and you just happen to be looking in CL and reading this right now and still want to fuck me.

rant and rave = fuck you.

• Location: san diego

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sdo/1104651909.html

Date: 2009-04-02, 7:19PM PDT

Funny Craigslist Ad # 52: need someone to hide easter eggs in my apt when im not home!

i need someone to hide easter eggs in my apt when i am not there ! they are small and filled with candy ! i would like to find them myself on sunday ! i am willing to pay ! serious inquiries only !

jason+

• Location: franklin tn

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nsh/1112090632.html

Date: 2009-04-07, 7:25PM CDT

Funny Craigslist Ad # 52: Actor needed for emotional role – One day high pay

My deceased aunt gave my two kids a Cocker Spaniel a few months back. The dog has been a terror and become overwhelming for me. I am a single father raising two young children. I cannot face telling the kids that the dog must go. I have found a good home for the dog, and just need someone to transport the dog, and play the villain.

Premise: You will be the dog walker hired by daddy (me) to walk Skittles. I will introduce you to the kids, and you will tell them you are going to help Skittles get her exercise when Daddy is too busy to walk her. At that point you will walk Skittles to your car and take her to her new family 20 minutes from my place. Then return holding just a leash. The story will be that Skittles broke free of the leash and took off. At this point prepare for crying, things being thrown at you, and possibly cursing. My kids are young and dramatic, their girls.

Pay will be $500. The job will take roughly 2 hours at best.

This job is ideal for an actor looking to diversify their role base, or someone who genuinely likes to make children cry. Acting experience is a plus, but not necessary. Please inform me of any prior experience in this kind of situation.

• Location: DC, MD, VA

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/wdc/1126876415.html

Date: 2009-04-17, 12:52PM EDT

Funny Craigslist Ad # 51: Rustic 1 Bedroom

As summer is approaching that means the weather outside is getting nicer, which means I have an extra room for rent. Do you like the outdoors, wood paneling, porta-poties? Then I have the perfect room for you. I just cleaned and swept out the tree house in my backyard. It is level to the second story of my house on a very sturdy tree. It has a plastic door, solid roof, and a durable rope ladder. It also has a pully system so you can pull up items that you don’t feel comfortable carrying on the rope ladder. The tree house has a bedroom (comes furnished with a mattress) which is separate from the common area (comes furnished with a beanbag). As for the kitchen, you may want to eat out. You can use the separate entrance to my backyard where it is located. This DOES NOT mean you have free access to my backyard though. What you are renting is the room at this is it. It is okay to use the backyard but keep it mind that first and foremost, it is mine.

Please, applicants under 160lbs only please. It is a sturdy building but lets not take any chances.

• cats are OK – purrr
• dogs are OK – wooof
• Location: Parkdale

http://funnycraigslistads.com/

Date: 2009-04-20, 3:18PM EDT