Archive for May, 2009

Funny Craigslist Ad # 45: Light house cleaning needed

Need some light house cleaning. I’m pretty busy and not able to clean my apartment so I need someone to do some light work once a week or so. Here are some pictures to give a general idea.

Date: 2008-09-23, 4:28PM CDT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/852526961.html

Funny Craigslist Ad # 44: Pet roach – Scoochie

I am having to part with my pet roach, as I am no longer able to afford to feed him. With the way the economy is going, I am forced to do this. It hurts to let him go, as I have been with him since he was just a larvae. He loves sitting in your hand and watching Jerry Springer, and will sometimes crawl up your pants at night to keep warm. Items included will be his 2 story deluxe shoebox highrise, custom yarn leash, and miniature food and water bowls along with a 6 pack of Coors light, his favorite beer. I will need to interview the prospective caretakers to find the right fit, and a small adoption fee may apply (he is up to date on his shots, and has recently been wormed). Please, help me find Scoochie a forever home!!

Date: 2008-10-13, 2:15AM CDT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/hou/877016377.html

Funny Craigslist Ad # 43: Free Hot Tub

Do you need a year round way to water your lawn, deck, yard, garage? Have you ever wondered what a 425 gallon colander looks like? Ever really wanted a motorized dog bath? Today is your lucky day. I have a free hot tub. Yes it is complete and it is drained. I drained part of it and it drained itself the rest of the way. Where does it leak??? Find that and you have found the leprechaun with the pot of gold. This unit is perfect for the individual who knows no limit to frustration. The type of person who likes a challenge even when there is no chance of winning. This will build the kind of character in you the armed forces dream of. You will find yourself exhibiting behavior that you never thought possible, but ITS FREE!!!! You will need strong backs to load and a trailer. I will be able to offer short bouts of sympathy and witty banter while you prepare to begin your journey.

If this interests you, and it should because ITS FREE, you will need to call and schedule to come by and pick it up. Please remember, I am not a business as it is hard to make a living giving things away. Please call and let me know when you will be there as I have other things to do. I will not guarantee anything except you have your work cut out for you. I will not deliver it, save it, paint it, or take photos of it for you until it is on your trailer….again…ITS FREE. Please call me if you want it. [DELETED]

Coleman 411 – 5 Person tub
Has Cover
Pumps, heater, etc did work
Air injector pump has been disconnected
The rest is a foam filled crap shoot

Date: 2008-10-15, 8:57AM AKDT

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/anc/880259510.html

Funny Craigslist Ad # 42: Why doesn’t anyone ever miss a connection with me?

Everywhere I go, I scan my surroundings and wonder if someone is secretly plotting a CL missed connection post for me. “We locked eyes briefly at the Dollar Store as you were picking out those heavy flow maxi-pads. You smiled at me so innocently. If this is you tell me what I was wearing”

Nothing.

I drive down the interstate and look in all the cars and then come home to check CL to see if anyone missed a connection with the “Sexy dark haired girl in the toyota going towards the MMBT on 664, you eyeballed me and picked your nose. I want to take you out.”

Still nothing.

I get up every day, shower, get dressed and go out just so someone can miss a connection and look for me on CL.

Don’t approach me in public. I’m waiting for you here.

Date: 2008-11-15, 2:56PM EST

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nfk/920438509.html